The trail is narrow, I look behind me and see my mom and brother staring at the canyon in awe. As I reach for the reigns of Eddy my paint-pot horse, click-clack click-clack click-clack, I inhale a deep breath of the fresh, clear mountain air. Sweet, aromatic. Montana; this is my home. Not home in the concrete sense of the word, home in the a-b-s-t-r-a-c-t form. My heart feels full, I am content. I shift my weight back as my horse climbs the steep trail almost telepathically. I can hear rushing water (shhhhshhhhshhhshhh) getting louder as our journey continues onward. Hours ------------(feel like)--------> minutes as we approach our destination, Ouzel Falls. It has been years since I have ridden this trail and I love it. I can feel the energizing mist from the powerful waterfall, the beads of water dancing, nourishing the surrounding greenery. I ride Eddy to a tree and secure his reigns and bridal so he can feast on the GREEN vitamin rich moss growing on the riverbank. I call my mother and brother to do the same when I notice a black bear across the river feasting on the moist boysenberries. I stand there in awe, not sure whether I should reach for my camera or use my eyes.
For my post I chose to submit a photo that I took four years ago in the great state of Montana, my home away from home. While I originally struggled with the idea of not making my text too much of a story, I found relief by incorporating some short, poetic sentences as well as onomatopoeias into my prose. In order for me to accurately project the feelings I was experiencing when the photograph was originally taken, I tried to incorporate as many senses as I can into my writing and accentuating them by bolding, underlining, italicizing or increasing their font size. Touch, taste, smell, seeing and hearing were crucial elements in my story because I believe that these adjectives help to transport the audience to Ouzel Falls. As for the grey layout that I chose for my blog, I felt that it beautify contrasted the green in both of my images and made the text pop.
ReplyDeleteThe placement of the photo first before the text really settles the reader into the place, Ouzel Falls. The size of the photo lends the location importance and also gives the reader a chance to see all of the details. The angle makes it seem like the photographer is in the river itself, and this in turn gives the reader the feeling of immediacy - of being right in the middle of the action. The photo is very effective at taking the reader to Ouzel Falls without the text's help (although the text does a fine job at creating sensory details aside from the visual).
ReplyDeleteThe green fonts tie in with the green in both this photo and the background photo, and the color could give the entire blog a very natural vibe if it didn't come off as a bit neon. The bright neon-esque color displaces it from the overall natural theme. The font itself seems basic and doesn't contribute to the reading of the text; this could just be the standard, default font that the layout provides.
The text is straightforward in terms of plot and location; there's little guesswork to be done as to what this blog post is about. There is a cliffhanger with the bear, but overall the text lacks mystery - not that it necessarily needs it. I think that it accomplishes establishing a place and explores it very well with sensory details. These details bring the accompanying photo to life. The reader can hear the water that they're standing in (from the point of view of the photo) and the horses around them through the onomatopoeias. The word choices are vibrant and help fully realize Ouzel Falls. The play with size in the words "full" and "content" bring out those words' meanings. The author also creates a time gap similar to the one she experienced by using hyphens.
Things that I would change about this blog post would be the green color of some of the text; it comes off too neon and doesn't fit with the natural theme. I might also change the font itself to something less basic and plain; an earthier and richer font would suit this blog better (within the narrow choices of Blogger, maybe Georgia?)